exxxpert cosmo tips

can't seem to please your man? this is the blog 4 u
Jan 11 '12

cosmo tip #136

wanna have a hot steamy night of sex? make your man a mudhut and take him out there in the middle of the night. when you go down on him, yell “IM AN OGRE” while gnawing and smashing his penis. when hes ready to blow his ogreload, punch him in the testicles and rub onions in his eyeballs to help explain the metaphor that shrek is like an onion (because he has multiple layers)

383 notes Tags: check yourself before you shrek yourself idk maybe paint yourself green if you really want to heighten the experience make sure he blows his ogreload sexy shrek it'll probably be better than puss in boots was

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    check yourself before...shrek yourself idk maybe paint yourself green if you really...
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