May 2012
60 posts
1 tag
cosmo tip #256
next time he wants to roleplay make it into a larp session and CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF
1 tag
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cosmo tip #255
for a sensual new experience, gently ease a pregnant iguana into his urethra tail-first and coax it into laying its eggs once it is securely inside
your typical cosmo girl
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cosmo tip #254
they call it a money shot for a reason, every time he cums on you, take 100 dollars out of his bank account
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cosmo tip #253
have your man grow tentacles and reenact your favourite hentai!
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cosmo tip #252
why have 1 peen in your ass when you can have 5
cosmo tip #251
hydrofluoric acid is perfect for dissolving bodies!
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cosmo tip #250
invite his elementary school bully over for a sexy threesome
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cosmo tip #249
when hes having sex with you, shout out your own name instead of his.
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cosmo tip #248
lay eggs and make him take care of them so your s̃̋̑҉̻͔͉̻̫̗̯p͓͙͍̹̝̞̥ͧͬͤ́å̫͡w̻̤̪̙̹̥̪̾̉̃͠n̡̙͔̩̲ ̵̱͉̻̣ͨh̟̟̻ͪ̓a̡͚̯̎ţ͉̲͈͙̍̈́̃̓ͦ̐̓c̥̦͍͚̖̣͖ͬ͡hē̪̻ͨ͊ͯ̑̍͜s̙̘͌̑ ̢̼ͧ̏̍̿a̖̣̱c͍͆c̩̙̮͇͋ͯȍ͓̱̹͙̗͔̒͊ͭ͐̃̃r͍͓͈͇͎̪̓ͣ̋ͧ̾̂́ͅį́͗̓̈ͧͮd̷̩͂ͫ͆́n̺̟̭̮̯̭̊͐̇ͧg͉̬̰̝̬̯͉ͨ ͇̱͎̘ͣt͙̮̭̮o̴̙͎̰̹͖̤͕ ̬̜̦̘͗͗ͤͪp̯ͪͤr̢̳͔̘͎̜̈̑o̙̠̭̲̱̰̐̎̈́̈́p̜͖͇͖̦͍̎ͥͥh͖ͦ̊e̝͍̼̬̣̺̘͆̎̉c̤̣̖ͯ͒̔̊y͕͍͍̼̪̪̗͌͑̓̈ͩ
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cosmo tip #247
dicks
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cosmo tip #246
if your man sort of isn’t in the mood for sex on a particular night, something suspicious is definitely going on. it is impossible for a man to just not feel like having sex obviously
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cosmo tip #245
brush his arm hair like a stallion’s mane
1 tag
fussybabybitch:
proper dildo usage
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cosmo tip #244
want your man to be more sensitive? get him to watch madoka with you! there is no way he won’t cry.
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cosmo tip #243
when you’re reaching climax, scream “whats hip-hop-a-happening to me!”
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cosmo tip #242
leave a bouquet of pubes on his pillow
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cosmo tip #241
get nipples surgically implanted onto your butt
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cosmo tip #240
when he least expects it take off all your clothes to reveal that you are actually a rat king
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cosmo tip #239
instead of rose petals on the bed sheets just place a dead rat king there
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cosmo tip #238
have the most heteronormative sex possible
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cosmo tip #237
looking to be more of a dominatrix in bed? if you need an extra kinky phrase, tell him his OTP sucks and isn’t even canon