exxxpert cosmo tips

month

May 2013

34 posts

make him coupons for a free sensual massage that expire the day before you give them to him

lfg my bed, pst if interested

circuitdesign: expertcosmotips: need money fast? Sell him to Yahoo! Please take note: Yahoo is buying Tumblr, not investing in either NASA or communications research/development. Money rules.. quick money is better…. buying the competition to destroy it even better. We will hang the capitalists with the rope that they sell us.

need money fast? Sell him to Yahoo!

need a quick and easy breakup plan? pretend you don’t know who he is

talk about your weed paraphernalia for hours

anime is fucked up how come nobody told me about it until today

imagine a dicky doo covered in cheeto dust haha ew

Has anyone seen my ridiculously oversized cowboy hat??

impress your potential date by making a pyramid out of the empty drink cans you keep in your room because you’re too lazy to clean them out

gabrielgrayy: expertcosmotips: bazinga shirts exist so you know who not to date More like WHO to date.

cacty: expertcosmotips is just a poor excuse for a blog…. sad and embarrassing im rubber ur glue im a condom that sticks to u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oolongs: expertcosmotips is probably the dumbest blog ever made WOW FUCK YOU

vanessa-munster: nikkivonnekro: expertcosmotips: metal-loki: expertcosmotips: when you’re about to cum shove your fist into his asshole like he’s a puppet and yell “i KILL YOU!! achMED THE TERRORIST REFERENCE!!” like jeff dunham would do if he was still alive Wait jeff dunham isn’t dead is he? I swear he’s still alive. no he has passed away rip sweet angle He’s not dead. What the...

when you’re about to cum shove your fist into his asshole like he’s a puppet and yell “i KILL YOU!! achMED THE TERRORIST REFERENCE!!” like jeff dunham would do if he was still alive

oolongs: RIP Jeff Dunham 1975-2013 you made us laugh, you made us cry, and we will miss you. god bless you for your “hilarious jokes” cant believe he died.. id let him put his hands into my puppet any day ;-(

bazinga shirts exist so you know who not to date

accio-winchester: expertcosmotips: thefaultinourhomestuck: expertcosmotips: Did you know there is an elvis booth at every jack astors because elvis’ real name is jack astor? i just wish someone would talk to me. :( i always feel so lonely…somebody hmu???? ♬I Follow Back♬ Why Also his real name is Elvis Aaron Presley. Not Jack Astor. No its jack astor

thefaultinourhomestuck: expertcosmotips: Did you know there is an elvis booth at every jack astors because elvis’ real name is jack astor? i just wish someone would talk to me. :( i always feel so lonely…somebody hmu???? ♬I Follow Back♬ Why

Did you know there is an elvis booth at every jack astors because elvis’ real name is jack astor?

cool summer drink ideas: -alcohol -everclear

send your nudes to home depot

looking for a good summer flick? please don’t let it be Grease

planning to go on a diet? why

dont forget to use donkey kongdoms

if he believes in the friend zone then you should put him in it

seductively eat all the food in his house

lol holy shit a guy was on the curb outside my house and he was like “nice bobos” and i was like “These aren’t bobos..thats my weed :)”

dogs are fucked up lol

April 2013

98 posts

having a boyfriend is like having a companion with extra carry weight so you don’t have to be overburdened with items

why do you have so many condoms it’s not like you’re going to use all of them

do he watch tv????? he’s cheating on you…. dont you know they call it the boob tube

coax him to take you out for dinner so he will think it will end with a romantic evening in bed, except get your meal to go and just eat that instead of paying attention to him because food is better than boyfriends anyways

larry the cable man was found deceased this morning after “gitting it done ” for close to 4 hours straight rest in peace my little soldier, 1921-2006

oolongs: lafemmereve: boehner-trollololll: expertcosmotips: oolongs: rest in peace larry the cable guy 1963-2013 he was truely the sexiest man alive (but now he’s ex alive cause he’s dead now) Whoa is he dead? I don’t see anything about him dead… i don’t see anything about him dying on the news sites. I say it’s bogus check the source to those of you who don’t believe...

i can’t find the strength to write cosmo tips when larry the cable guy is dead.. i miss him so much… we all miss you, cable guy………….

gingersrevenge: expertcosmotips: aprilswinter: expertcosmotips: everyone should take a moment of silence to remember the life of larry the cable guy he certainly got it done… rest in peace 1946-2013 He isn’t dead shhh it’s okay sometimes we are in denial when something like this happens that’s not even the year he was born it’s okay to be upset

everyone should take a moment of silence to remember the life of larry the cable guy he certainly got it done… rest in peace 1946-2013

oolongs: rest in peace larry the cable guy 1963-2013 he was truely the sexiest man alive (but now he’s ex alive cause he’s dead now)

remember, men prefer girls with long hair so grow it so long that you can slowly wrap him up in it never to be seen again

PENIS IN REAL LIFE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY HOW TO GET RID OF THEM SEND HELP