next time he wants to roleplay make it into a larp session and CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF
for a sensual new experience, gently ease a pregnant iguana into his urethra tail-first and coax it into laying its eggs once it is securely inside
1,350 notes (via boogo & partouse)
they call it a money shot for a reason, every time he cums on you, take 100 dollars out of his bank account